Sunday, March 22, 2009

Garden Dance


Would love a critique on my latest.... it feels a bit "off" to me. I think Isaac is going to find a lot of tangents too :P, maybe that's what it is!

7 comments:

marikris said...

Carmen, you have such a distinctive style. It's like you put color in bursts, very beautiful. For critique, here goes: I think you're right about tangents, and the dog's nose directly on the door frame specially. I think spatially it's flat, even though there's variations in volume, it just seems to me that the foreground/middle and background somehow merge into one space. Well the background not so much, but the other two does. The two figures seem to float as well, even the table with the plants. I think you just need to figure out a light source and add shadows, and maybe more high/lowlight on the potted plant leaves.

I love the concept, and I really enjoy looking at your work. Also, I noticed the girl has a very fashionable ensemble. I was wondering what to wear for the Art show opening today and now I'm thinking leggings and my flower headband ^_^

Kris <3

Steve Harpster said...

I like this. I think it might be stronger if the bkgd behind the girl were a bit darker...just a bit.
Really nice though.

Christy said...

As usual, I love your characters and how your paint goes on the paper. :) I agree with Marikris's very specific suggetions about adding a light source. They are dancing, but they are floating a bit too much. :) I notice the tangents too and the need for the background to be deeper in shadow to add some perspective. I think overall it is an adorable scene and she is very lovely. I especially like how the skirt seems to be (appropriately) floating on air. :) Nice color choices too...it is all balanced.
Christy

pete said...

I agree with the above, and particularly the comment by Steve about slightly intensifying the background behind the archway. That might reinforce the nighttimedness (hey, I think I just made up a new word). I'm assuming its night...the light is on.

You handle the watercolors beautifully, and I particularly like how you soften the lines with your color choices. It really is great!

Carmen Keys said...

Hm, yes yes, very good points -- light source is something I very definitely need to work on in general!

Isaac Marzioli - Freelance Illustrator said...

Hey, no fair pointing out tangents - that's my bit!

I like this - it's quite well done - is it part of a larger series? Or is it a stand alone drawing?

I had a couple of things - there is the dog's nose tangent, but the dog's left knee also tangents with the doorway. And one of the roses on the right hand side tangents on the plant.

And i wonder about the skirt on the girl - I like the detailing and such - but it's hard to read next to the small brown table - the skirt should either be clearly in front of the table, or they shouldn't touch at all.

And I wanted to know if it's part of a series of drawings because of the bird cage in the right side. Like, I'd like to see them finish dancing and the girl has to go home for the night, so she stuffs the dog in there for safe keeping.

sara.b said...

What a lovely illustration, and it is so fanciful. :) The girls outfit is darling with the rose headband. And I am enjoying the relationship the girl and dog have visually. The background, be careful. I wouldn't intensify it, I would make it cooler to pushing it further back. Also keep in mind, with watercolor we get those hard edges. Lighten the edge where the archway meets the green. There's a sharp line the watercolor has created and it's bringing it closer visually.

The bright yellow spot above the girl's head, and the one below her elbows come forward because the light source is yellow/warm. If you cool those down a bit the girl will come more forward. Keep the foreground and middle ground warm, and the greens in the bkgr cool. That will help make this more spacial. :)

Yeah, I'm curious to know if there's another illo following. But if not, I'm fine with that. There are enough elements in this piece that my imagination just keeps going. That's an awesome thing!